Oh, the glory of a new year! A new beginning, a fresh start, a list of new goals to chase! Could this be your year to finally step out of the shadows and shine your own star? Resolve to allow your innate goodness to shine through and take hold, propelling you towards your destiny. Yes!
And in this endeavor most of us love to daydream about a list of resolutions that we think will take us there. Yet resolutions can be a tricky proposition … so full of hope and optimism, but also shrouded in secret doubt or dread. As a result most of us fail within a week or two. But if you truly desire change, I encourage you to look behind your resolutions to mine the real gold! If you find the true motivations and adjust your behavior around them you have a real chance at success.
For example, if you resolve to lose weight but year after year fail to see a positive change on the scale, perhaps you are looking at it in the wrong way. Maybe it’s not the weight that you want to lose, rather, it’s something you want to gain? When you visualize yourself 10 pounds lighter, what do you FEEL to be different? You will be more confident? Stronger? Healthier? Now, what activities would support those emotions? I suggest working towards those FEELINGS first, and by focusing on the true outcome that you desire instead of an arbitrary standard of measurement, you will have more interest in achieving it. More interest, more focus. More focus, more change!
I’m a big believer that it’s more effective to work for something that you want, versus working against something you don’t want. Instead of focusing on depriving yourself, feed your soul with positive and meaningful things. Fill your body with exercise, fresh air and other joyful activities. True self-love and acceptance is the key to all change. So work on your real resolutions, a little every day! Find a way to feel good about them. If you slip up, forgive yourself and start again. Perhaps change the way you look at it. And know that if you realize your resolution isn’t really important, change it! There is no shame in refining your goals as you uncover your personal truths.
And remember, nobody is perfect at it. When you are on the quest for transformation, you will be on your own path so don’t compare your journey with anyone else.
This year I offer up some activities to support your true motivations for self-improvement. I’ve found them to be meaningful in my own efforts for change. As always, I speak as a fellow traveller, not as an expert. I work on myself every day. In the spirit of sharing, I’ve included titles from some of my favorite books. Each one will change your life if you let it! In addition, I recommend reading everything by Dr. Wayne Dyer (I couldn’t decide which book of his to include, all of them are worthwhile).
Here are five soulful resolutions that support true transformation:
1) Develop a daily practice of reflection. Find your place or activity that releases your mind and soul to travel uninhibited. It might be prayer, meditation, creativity or another solitary practice. It could be something as simple as taking a walk by yourself, or driving in quiet during your daily commute. Recognize golden moments of reflection and treat it as sacred time. In that state of consciousness, listen to your inner wisdom! The Wise One within, she never leads you astray. For soulful nuggets of truth, read “I Will Not Die An Unlived Life” by Dawna Markova.
2) Become your own best friend. Learn to really love yourself. Realize that no one else knows what’s better for you, than you. No one can push you more and hold you accountable to your goals. Be careful of the language you use about yourself. And most of all, cut yourself some slack when you fail to meet your own standards of perfection. A great book about the power of affirmations is “Quantum Success” by Sandra Anne Taylor.
3) Find your One Thing and go all in. There is power in focus! That which you focus, expands! Train your mind and heart to identify what you really want and think and FEEL it wholeheartedly. Like a magnet, your emotions will draw it into your reality. The more sure and pure the emotion, the stronger the manifestation. Along the way, you will be tempted to veer off your path, so learn to say “No” to distractions and have the courage to say “Yes” to the opportunities that you will attract. One of my favorite reads is a tiny book given to me by my dad over 30 years ago: “It Works” by RNJ
4) Take up the actions of transformation, do something every day, even a little! Wishing for change is nice, but transformation requires action. Sometimes we can get disheartened when we hit the inevitable roadblock or don’t accomplish our goals in a predetermined timeframe. Life is busy, we get distracted … we discover more steps are required than we originally planned. Don’t stop! A step forward is a step forward! Remember, you don’t have to be perfect (no one is) but taking action on your dreams is your responsibility. Study every word in “Ask and It is Given” by Esther and Jerry Hicks
5) Minimize negativity. There is a pervasive mob mentality out there, telling us how to think and behave. I often refer to them as The Others: our friends and family have their opinions; social media, news outlets, groups of all kinds (religious, activists, educators, etc) have their own agendas to push. The cacophony of messages is overwhelmingly based in FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt). Don’t let it tear you down or activate negative emotions. Be a warrior not a worrier! Arm yourself with faith and surround your soul with internal peace by curating the messages you allow into your reality. Remember, no one knows what is “best” for you except you. Disengage from negativity by reading “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz.
Happy New Year’s! Here’s to new beginnings, and sincere wishes that you find deep enjoyment in the glory of the quest. ~KAt